What we feed grows! - Growing the things that last

Growing the things that last

What we feed grows, sounds simple doesn’t it? Kind of a no brainer.

When we apply this principle to practical things we can see, like plants, animals, children, fire, when you feed those things the fuel they need, and the right fuel, they usually grow, and flourish.

As I was walking the other day, I was reminded of this principle and perhaps how it applies to our thought and faith life. What if we applied it  to growing more peace, love, connection, happiness and joy in our lives, and how would that work?

Example: If we want more joy in our lives but find ourselves complaining all the time, watching negative news reels, engaging in gossip or negatively fueled conversations, surrounding ourselves with people to criticise us, put us or others down, speak negative words in our minds our out loud about ourselves, how can we expect more joy?

As humans, we often look outwardly to fix this.

Truth is, lasting joy that can’t be untouched by anything in life, can only come from within and it starts with our thinking and choices.

As I have written about before, God gave humans the gift of choice, we always have choices, which way to go, what to buy, what to eat, what to listen to, what to watch, how to spend money, who to hang out with, to drink alcohol, where to holiday, the list could go on.

Here's the challenge.

Humans crave peace, love, connection, happiness, joy. We know this because the entire world's marketing plans for feeding consumerism are built around this scientific fact, creating multi billion dollar industries out of products or services that constantly tell us we can have those things from buying more things, taking a pill, going on a trip, drinking this beverage, eating that food, joining this membership and so on.

They are also geniuses at helping us to feel very dissatisfied with our lives, and by consuming their advertising they are tapping into our human desire to feel more satisfied than we do right now.

They want us to get addicted to that feeling, and to see them as the saviour and deliverer of peace, love, connection, happiness and joy. Simply because they make money from our desire for these things.

On the flip side, we also know that those very things in their true and lasting form are most important to humans, and can’t in fact be bought or sold. Many very wealthy people facing death have been heard to have said they wished they had more love, more real connection, better relationships, more joy, more happiness, and that they didn’t find those in a lasting form in work, money or possessions.

"I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In others’ eyes my life is an epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on the sick bed and recalling my whole life, I realise that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in, have paled and become meaningless in the face of impending death.”

Steve Jobs, American businessman, inventor, and investor best known for co-founding the technology giant Apple Inc.

Coming back to this very simple saying I had on my wall for a few years.

What you feed grows!

When I looked at the things that really mattered to me in life, family, health, happiness, joy, love and peace, I realised that those things could not come in a lasting form outside of my own mind and soul.

John 14: 27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

The words ‘Not as the world gives’ are the key to understanding this bit of scripture, meaning God's peace has nothing to do with our worldly lives.

It is not that we are to live without simple pleasures and good things in our lives, and if someone has been blessed with more than they need and live a lavish life, that is not for anyone to judge. 

What I am talking about here is not the possession or lack of things in life, but more the reason we have those things.

Some key questions to ask ourselves.

• Do we buy experiences, or things to fill a hole in our hearts or our lives? 

• Do we buy them because we believe having that thing or experience will somehow transform us into a happier, more loving, joyful and peaceful person?

• Where is my Joy, happiness, feelings of connection and love coming from?

• Would I be completely ok and happy if I didn't have that 'thing' in my life?

• If I was told I had weeks to live, would I feel like I had enough Joy, happiness, love, peace and connection in my life, the lasting kind that comes from God and feeding the right things the right fuel?

Simple things I have found to help feed and cultivate more joy, happiness, love, peace and connection in my life:

Pray:

Even if you don’t usually pray or know how to pray, or think you don’t know how, just ask God to help you get more of the good lasting stuff in life, ask him to open doors that should be open and close ones that shouldn't be. Ask for new friends, for the ability to see what is going to feed the things that truly last.

Remember: To get, you first you have to give or be, to have good friends you have to be a good friend is an oldy but a goodie to remind ourselves about which way around this thing works.

Friends and those you hang out with:

• Be a good friend to the ones you want to keep, the ones that make you feel better from being around them not worse. You don’t need a large number of them, but quality ones who are authentic, honest, and genuinely care about you and it's mutual.

• Gently distance yourself from those who are just sucking the life out of you, or it is too one sided.

• Join a new group of people to meet new people around something fun, a hobby, club, sports team, fitness or walking group, animals and kids are great for helping us get out of our comfort zone.

Music and what you listen to:

• Clean out music playlists, delete songs that talk about negative things, revenge, hate, anger, violence and replace them with music that makes you want to dance, to sing, that have lyrics speaking live, love, happiness, joy and peace.

• Stop watching the news or listening to talk back radio.

Mind your language: (and I don’t mean swearing)

• Clean up your internal dialogue about yourself, notice when you are speaking negatively about yourself and try to catch it and replace it with something encouraging like you were your own coach.

• Clean up external conversations about yourself and others that are not giving the things you want to see more of in your own life, love, peace, happiness, joy.

Reading and consuming media:

• Clean up social feeds

• Unsubscribe to newsletters that are full of doom and gloom

• Unlike pages on social media

• Unfollow or unfriend people that are not positive influences in your life (they can’t see you unfriend them by the way)

• Check out what books you read

• Plan to read something uplifting or challenging you to grow in a good way every day, the bible is full of great stories of people overcoming massive challenges in life and full of truth that we can literally pin our lives on.

Watch better stuff:

Algorithms on social media feeds will pick up your habits within minutes and feed  you more and more of what you have been consuming! Great news is you can change this by changing what you watch, search and click on. This is in your control to a degree, and then there is that word again, choice!

• Reels

• TV

• Movies

• YouTube

• TikTok

All of these channels can be inspiring and positive, they are not the problem, the content we consume on them is the problem, what we choose to feed we will get more of.

There is a thing called the scroll numbing factor. It has been scientifically studied and proven that scrolling social media for more than a few minutes at a time, literally has a negative impact on our brain function and mood. 

Shopping for things we don’t need:

• TEMU and apps like this are feeding that consumer addiction, they send you big adds that you have 10 items free if you buy something today! We have all been sucked in by similar things.

• Scrolling apps like this can really trap us into thinking we need those things, and those things will bring us joy and happiness, we can get addicted to a new parcel arriving with new things.

How long does that feeling last? Usually until the next online shopping experience.

• Or wandering around big shops like KMART for fun, put your hand up if you have walked into KMART wanting a cheap pair of pants or something and walked out spending $80 with 5 more items you suddenly thought you needed or remembered you needed when walking around the shop?

I love the convenience of online shopping so I have chosen to make it purposeful. If I want something like my groceries or a new winter jacket that I actually need, I will go specifically to that shop and order that one thing and leave the internet alone.

When we feel stuck:

• We are not trees, we are not rooted to the spot we are planted, so we can move, we can make new choices even if small ones to cultivate better things in our own lives.

• Ask for help, get an accountability buddy, remove apps, unsubscribe to things, be intentional about doing fun positive things with great people.

• Counselling is great, make sure the councilor is going to be a positive influence and be on the same goal path as you are.

When I identify I want to change something bigger in my life, I always start small, taking one thing and just choosing to change a habit, choosing to catch myself doing something I find draining, or making me feel worse.

As always I share this from a place of wanting to encourage others on this journey, and am always a work in progress myself, with some days/weeks better than others, but by building my toolkit and even thinking differently about things, I am able to pick back up quicker when I fall off track.

Here is you growing more of what you want in your life. More peace, love, connection, happiness, joy, the lasting kind that nothing can touch. The kind that lives inside of you, rooted deeply in Gods love for you and fueled by all the good things in your life.

Remember, that like in this famous scripture John 17:20, we don’t need a lot of these things to make big changes in our lives, some is enough 

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.”

Arohanui

Jen.